I read the following words the other day on New Beauty’s website: “Makeup mavens know that temporary complexion perfection is attained through four steps: primer, foundation, concealer and powder.”

Doesn’t that sound a lot like finishing a wall in the basement to you?  I have found that there are often WAY too many steps to simple foundations, which led me to embrace the mineral makeup trend that at first blush, seems to speed one directly to step four.  I chose Bare Minerals because of its popularity, including with my Aunt Sandy, who lives in Tucson, Ariz., where even powder melts in the midday heat.  She loves the weightless coverage and has been using it for three or four years.  I was also attracted to the promotion that it is so pure you can sleep in it.  I’ve slept in worst things…

For testing purposes, I bought a Customizable Get Started Kit, which is encouraged by the website and every store that sells the product.  For $63, my customized box came with two jars of medium foundation colors, one Warmth All-Over Face Color, one jar of Mineral Veil, three high-quality brushes, and a DVD.  DVD, you say?  Yep, strike one, but not a strikeout.  It turns out to be worth the time to watch a demonstration of how it is applied.  By applying the makeup to a couple friends, I practiced the “buffing” technique and saw how important it was to the overall blending of the makeup.

Once I got the swirling, tapping and buffing down, figured out how to use the multiple colors, plus the Mineral Veil for making my face shine and retain its glow all day, I report to you that I have never seen a more natural looking foundation.  It is an overall foundation, not good for spot concealing, like under my eyes, but my skin looked great, as did the faces of my friends who volunteered as my guinea pigs.  My shirt and the bathroom sink, on the other hand, are always a mess after I’m done. It is very, very messy.  Strike two.

Strike three comes from where I began in this experiment, and that is that Bare Minerals is too much work.  Three different powders, brushes and 10 minutes of buffing is not what I have to give to my morning.  When done correctly, it is a light, lovely foundation that blends wonderfully into the skin.  I have some facial peeling going on from using a Retinol product, and the powdery consistency of Bare Minerals is perfect for covering facial blemishes that usually look worse covered with concealer.  It is the perfect makeup for those occasions when you want to look your natural best and have the time to work on it.

But in my game of life, I only have time for the bare minimums, not the Bare Minerals.

1. Conair Shiny Styles, $25  (it’s a flat-iron-type-thing)
2. Sally Hansen No-Heat Gel Hair Remover For Face and Body, $10.99
3. Philosophy Dark Shadows Illuminating Eye and Upper Lip Cream, $33  (December) and Philosophy The Supernatural Blotting Papers, $10.00 (November)
4. Rene Furterer Triphasic Anti-Hair Loss Regenerating Serum, $53
5. Peter Thomas Roth Lashes To Die For Night Time Eyelash Conditioning Treatment, $125
6. Smooth Away Hair Removal (as seen on TV!) $9.99 (Michelle reviewed this, too, but didn’t hate it.)
7. Avon Healthy Remedies Detox Patches, $15 (put them on your feet at night and forget about the bad gin by morning)
8. Stila Lip Rouge, $24 (Gina tried it. She hated it.)
9. Wet ‘n Wild Ultimate Cover Smooth Foundation, $7.50

Rating the best products is a bit more problematic, of course.  Best for what?  50-year-old hair?  25 year-old adult acne?  TotalBeauty has the “Members Top 100”, but too many of the products only have 9 or 10 reviews.  Our rule is, we’ll try most any product, but want more than 10 other strangers to try it first.

One product of the Top 100 is worth noting with almost 350 reviewers giving it 9.9 out of 10:  NuSkin ageLOC Future Serum.  Reviewers on the site are wildly enthusiastic about it, with quotes like “my skin has become more luminous, vibrant, firmer and lifted” and “I can’t believe the dramatic difference!”  To that we only add, it better work -  it’s $224 an ounce, and only part of a whole skin kit that is another $410.

We save other people’s best for last and turn to Allure Magazine to give us a Top 9 “Best of Beauty Breakthroughs” from 2009.  Most are more within our financial limits:

1. Dove Body Wash with Nutrium Moisture, $6 (Michelle uses it, but hardly thinks it’s a breakthrough.)
2. Pantene Pro-V Nature Fusion, $4 and up
3. Neocutis Blanche Skin Lightening cream, $105
4. Orlando Pita + T3 Renew Dry Conditioner, $25
5. Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color, $5
6. Latisse, $120 for a one-month supply (I am a walking Latisse ad.  It works.)
7. Shiseido Future Solution LX Loading face cream, $230 for 1.8 ounces
8. St. Tropez self-tanners, $25 to $45
9. OPI Axxium Soak-Off Gel Lacquer, $30 and up

There are more than 250,000 active cosmetics products listed in the US Patent and Trade Office database.  Eighteen down, 249,982 to go. Any ones you want to know about specifically?  Ask LookinGood, we’ll find out for you.

When the late Max Factor came to Los Angeles in 1910, makeup, which was only worn on stage or by women of ill-repute, “was made of ground brick dust mixed with Vaseline or lard,”  according to his biographer.  So, no more bitching about your foundation, sister.  Later, Max Factor created and controlled arguably the most well-known cosmetics line in the world.  So it is with melancholy that we should bid farewell to the company that Max Factor built, as P&G announces that they are discontinuing the brand in the US this year.

Ironically, 2009 is the 100th anniversary of the founding of his company, and the publication of a biography of his life and work:  MAX FACTOR: The Man Who Changed the Faces of the World, by Fred E. Basten.  Basten worked for the company for many years as a PR guy and talked the family into full access to his archives, letters, pictures, family and friends.  It is a readable bio with fun photos and the remarkable story of a talented man who escaped from under the nose of Czar Nicholas II’s pogrom, into a country just inventing movie pictures.  It was his formulas for stage makeup, wigs, false eyelashes, and of course, the pictured “Beauty Calibrator”  that made him famous in the 1920′s Hollywood, but his mass production of pancake makeup made him a household name in the 40′s and beyond.

I have mixed feelings about the man who might be responsible for the eyelash curlers, concealers, hair dye, eyebrow shapers and countless lipsticks I have wasted my money on, but I admit some nostalgia.  After all, he helped make me what I am today.  Expensive.