Big nose:

• Product:   Makeup and shadows that give the appearance of a slimmer schnozz.  Highlighter to the bridge of the nose, darker bronze to the sides.  Google “makeup to slim the nose” and you’ll get hundreds of methods.

• Process:  Non-surgical nose job using injectables.  Botox can relax the pull on the widest part of the nose and fillers will smooth out the bumps.  For certain nose problems, it’s easy.

• Plastic surgery:  Rhinoplasty, the most common of cosmetic surgeries, can give you that cute little button nose in a day’s time.  Bruises are gone in a week and you’re good to go.

Double chin:

• Product:  Neck creams – there are millions of them.  Dermajuv Neck Restoration Cream, Strivectin Neck Cream, Philosophy Neck Cream, with the truly depressing tag line “when hope is not enough.”

• Process:  The Neckline Slimmer.  A clever little device that helps you exercise your wattle away with three levels of resistance – none of which are easy (yes, I tried it, but it seemed too much like, well, exercise, so I gave it up.)

• Plastic surgery:  Cervicoplasty and/or platysmaplasty, or just a facelift, will tighten up that neckline so well, you’ll have a hard time looking up.

You see my point, right?  But one problem has stumped my theory, and that is the problem of drooping eyelids.  It seems to occur really quickly – like one night you drank too much and those hangover eyes just never went away.  No amount of eye shadow can cover them, no eye cream can firm them, no exercises can lift them.  Only Blepharoplasty will lift those lids to their original height.

Until now.  Introducing our newest discovery – Victoria McGill’s EyeDefining Contour Strips.

“EyeDefining contour strips temporarily reduce the effects of drooping upper eyelids by tucking and holding the loose skin of your eyelid into your natural crease” says the website.  It’s goofy, but remarkably simple.  It’s like lamination tape, basically – a stiff, formed piece of transparent tape that, when applied, pushes the excess skin into the natural crease of your eye and holds it there.  There’s a video on the website with instructions and dozens of before and after pictures of women whose eyes look 10 years younger.

As a temporary measure, it will work, but eyelid skin is extremely sensitive, so applying and removing tape – especially strong, hard, tape – is not a great idea, no matter how much moisturizer you use, as the product directions suggest.  Eyelid infection, or Blepharitis, is common, and often a real bitch to get rid of.  By the company’s own admission, the tape is difficult to apply.  “When applying the strips for the first time, please be patient. It may take 2 or 3 tries until you get the hang of it. When properly positioned you should not feel the strip after a blink or two.”

Removing the tape is the problem, of course.  If you’re not REALLY careful, you could damage skin that is already very, very thin.

This may be one of those times that only one “P” has the answer – plastic surgery.  Eye creams are generally intended for under the eye and any dermatologist will advise you to leave the tender skin above the eye alone. Because  if you think your eyelids are drooping now, imagine what they look like infected.

I don’t know whether to attribute it to the new products I’ve been trying, stress, hormones or diet.  When I get stressed, I don’t eat right. And hell, at 43, much like at 16, I have absolutely no clue what these hormones are doing.

Of course, with all this playing out all too obviously across my face, I appreciated the timing of Paula Begoun’s recently released report on acne.  Apparently, I am not alone.  Acne affects an estimated 95 percent of the population, regardless of skin color or type.  The report says that yes, my breakouts are probably due to all of the above, and tells me how to fight the flaw, and not let the flaw win.

It is most interesting to note, however, that every natural instinct we have for eradicating those complexion killers is just wrong, wrong, wrong.  And contrary to popular belief, none of it makes them disappear any faster.  You can’t squeeze them or scrub them gone.  The report discourages harsh skin care products.  Astringents like witch hazel won’t dry up that little geyser any quicker, and in fact, if the skin gets dried out, it can’t heal.  Dry skin is also a breeding ground for the bacteria that grow pimples.  Who knew?  Similarly, don’t use products, such as bar soap on your face or waxy styling products on hair that will touch your forehead. These will leave a residue that will clog pores and clogged pores are part of what started this whole mess in the first place.

If acne is a serious issue for you, you need to get Begoun’s report (anyone who is serious about skin care at all should be on her mailing list), because treatment is very individual, depending on your skin type and lifestyle.  Her extensive recommendations include products with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide, but she encourages a regular, gentle cleansing routine as the best approach.  Alternatives such as Tea Tree Oil treatments or the use of sulphur are discussed and the report is a must-have before making a decision with your dermatologist about prescription methods.  All the latest on new treatments such as Dapsone, updates on the use of antibiotics, vitamin supplements and other topicals are covered in her report.

Fortunately, my face cleared up in a few weeks, so I was able to give up re-living my pizza face years.  Now if I could find a routine to clear up my social life as easily…

We’ve seen it already this summer.  June brides who tried something new to look special on their big day, only the special look they ended up with was especially a bummer.  So for the rest of you summer brides, (and this goes for mothers and grooms as well) before you say “I do,” there are some don’ts that you should keep in mind:

Of course you want your skin to be bright and glowing, but don’t schedule a facial treatment close to the big day.  If you’re considering a facial or any sort of peel, you have to make sure you give your skin plenty of time to recover, a minimum of a week.  Facials draw out impurities and can lead to breakouts, and if it has been over a year since you had one, or maybe you’ve never had one at all, you must expect some type of skin reaction.  And depending on the level of the peel, the new skin it unveils will be red for several days to 2 weeks.  Make sure there’s time to heal before you walk down the aisle.

Give the same consideration to any facial waxing.  If you’ve never waxed before, just prior to your wedding is not the time to start – at least not with regard to your face.  I regularly wax my chin and eyebrows … and I regularly break out a couple of days later.  Plan accordingly.

Even if your color theme includes orange, it doesn’t apply to your skin unless you are one of Willie Wonka’s Oompa Loompas.  Don’t go overboard tanning, especially if you’re wearing white (and/or strapless).  Fake tans — spray-on or otherwise acquired — are not fixable and they will still be very obviously fake decades later, regardless of how good your photographer is.  Spend the money to try a couple different techniques a month before the wedding, then choose.

Most importantly, don’t go crazy with your makeup, and if you are using a professional, have a makeup rehearsal weeks before the event.  You want to be a blushing bride because you’re excited and glowing, not because you’re over-painted.  Too often, we see brides who go for the extra eyeliner or lipstick or blush because they think the pictures will look better. If you’re taking the stage at the community theater or running off to join the circus, you can make an argument for changing the way you wear your makeup.  But you’re getting married because somebody loves the way you look every day.  “Something blue” should not be your eye shadow.  If you don’t normally wear blush or magenta lipstick, don’t do it for your wedding.  Whether you hire a professional, put your face in the hands of a friend or do it yourself, accentuate the positive.  Enhance what you have, don’t hide it under layers of cosmetics.

When it comes to your wedding day, if you only remember one thing, remember that those pictures you shelled out thousands for are going to be passed down through generations.  Make sure they look like you.

• More don’ts can be found on TheKnot.com.
• Sacremento Magazine has a good list of Do’s.
• WebMD.com features “The Perfect Bridal Beauty Guide.”

Any woman in your life will tell you how good it feels to scour away the dirt, grime and oils that are the remains of the day.  Scrubs and exfoliants contain mild abrasives to slough off dead skin cells and clear pores. By exfoliating once a week or more, your face will not only start feeling softer, odds are the new skin you’re revealing will be brighter and clearer too.  Blackheads, whiteheads and those yucky little white things growing on your eyelids that are really just layers of trapped dead skin cells, will all start to disappear.  And guys, with clearer pores, you’re less likely to have ingrown hairs as well. Bonus!

With more men taking their skin care and grooming seriously, there are plenty of scrubs out there to choose from. At GroomingLounge.com we found about 30 scrubs, some engineered just for men and some that are gender-neutral from companies like Dermalogica, MD Skincare and Alchimie – more familiar to the women’s market.

Reading about Urth Scrub (4 oz/$36) made me wish briefly that I could “man up” and try it, but alas, I don’t think I’m tough enough. GroomingLounge calls it “hands down the most unique and rewarding exfoliating experience around.”  This once-a-week product uses micro-fine, sand like rice granules mixed into a soft mud to get rid of the bad stuff, then soothes and detoxifies with green tea extract and ginseng.

For a more gentle, or gentlemanly, choice there’s the Menaji Polishing scrub (4 oz/$24), which, according to the website uses just five ingredients:  jojoba beads and aloe vera in addition to the “Menaji trois” of ginseng, sea kelp and grapefruit.

Menaji and MenScience Microfine Face Scrub (4.4 oz /$29) both tout themselves as shaving prep products, as well as exfoliators. MenScience includes glycolic acid and salicylic acid, two ingredients that add brightness to dull-looking skin.

And of course there’s Jack Black. The company offers a face scrub, but more interesting (to LookinGood anyway) is the Jack Black Body Rehab Scrub & Muscle Soak (12 oz/$35). Made for the body, not the face, it uses eucalyptus and rosemary to ease sore muscles and salts, shea butter and glycerin to exfoliate and soften.

Not sure you want to invest that much? St. Ives Apricot Scrub, Invigorating was one of the first exfoliating products on the market. If you’re the kind of guy who needs a couple of dates before you can think about a bigger commitment, St. Ive’s is only about $4.29 at your local pharmacy.

To me, the idea of “bright” skin is what my cheeks look like when after a brisk walk in early November.  The companies trying to define their products are tossing around words like “luminous,” “younger,” “glowing,” “younger,” “radiant,” “younger,” “brighter” … (any English teachers out there who want to remind them you can’t use the word itself as part of the definition?)

Skin brightening, not to be confused with lightening or whiting, is about all those things – and sort of nothing at the same time.  The things that dull the skin – oils, dead skin cells, dryness and so forth – are already being addressed if you have a normal cleansing and moisturizing routine.  If you aren’t currently exfoliating a couple of times a week, try it. The difference will amaze you.

But brighteners?  Many are a type of moisturizer that is chock full of vitamins and antioxidants.  What I’m using now has those things too, even though a derivative of the word “bright” doesn’t appear anywhere on the label.  And since I don’t wear makeup, it’s obvious right away whether or not my skin is bright.  But after you’ve cleansed, toned, moisturized and then “put on your face” with foundation, blush and the works, who’s to know if you did or didn’t brighten?

Brighteners often say they will also help even out skin tones, fading discoloration and reducing blotchiness, so that could make a difference in how your makeup appears on its canvas.  Ingredients to look for include AHAs and Vitamin C.  What those ingredients do, like many skin care products, is help break up dead cells so they’re easier to wash away, as well as promote faster cell turnover.  Newer skin is going to be brighter, of course, but honestly, you may already be using products that do this for you.

All that said, there’s no reason not to add brighteners to your routine, especially if you’re not a regular exfoliator, aren’t loading up on vitamins and antioxidants through your skin care regimen or your diet, or just because you want to, dammit!

There are too many choices out there, and Ulta, Sephora and drugstore.com are where you should start.  If you’re still not sure what to choose, talk to your trusted beauty adviser or Ask LookinGood, and we’ll try to narrow it down for you!

If YouTube was considered a search engine, it would be second only to Google.  More than just a place to watch your favorite music videos about lipstick stains, it’s a how-to gold mine, with users posting clips showing you how to do everything from riding a bike to open heart surgery.   LookinGood often uses it as a reference, picking and choosing tidbits as we need them. But when we started looking for a channel to subscribe to – someone we could turn to regularly for makeup needs, we found the pickin’s to be slim.

The best makeup videos out there are done, not surprisingly, by young women.  they are most comfortable with the medium of YouTube.  Many are professional and relevant to our over-39-year-old needs,  but users need to get comfortable taking advice from someone who looks like they are also going to sell you Girl Scout cookies.

• Our favorite “kid” skincare advisor is Michelle Phan, who is now a spokeswoman for Lancome.  If you can get over the fact that she does videos about “theme park makeup” (like Disneyland), she’s a real makeup artist who does excellent demonstrations on the application of foundation, the use of brushes and a whole host of color techniques.
• Makeup Geek is a bit older, with a straight-forward approach about achieving results like contouring to make your face look thinner or how to apply normal-looking eyeliner.
• MakeupByCheri is another one we found with decent how-to applications on using powder blushes or how to put on mascara.  She IS a 22 years old, however, so occasionally subscribers are subjected to chronicles of loud road trips that and unintelligible slang.
• Wayne Goss is a makeup artist from the UK who teaches both men and women all the basics as well as those special occasion-night-on-the-town looks.  It is a little odd to watch a man apply purple eye shadow, but this is 2010, what can we say?
• Women of color have The Accidental Beauty who needs some lighting expertise for her videos, and Lady Elle, who has the best personality and music.

And as for the over-40 set or over-50 set, fuhgeddaboudit, unless you want to watch a clip on “how to look like a cougar.”  Most of the videos are sitcoms waiting to happen (you read it here first), taking themselves way too seriously without offering anything useful, like Lanaindiana (“Hi, this is Lana, welcoming you back to my bathroom” or  Amy Miranda who offers bad audio and “Saturday night pub” makeup.

Because YouTube is also a social media marketing tool, cosmetics and personal care companies post a lot of how-to videos, as do salons and makeup artists, like Allison Saunders, and MAC Cosmetics.  We found this especially true when it comes to men’s grooming.  There aren’t a lot of guys in their bedrooms with their mischievous cats offering grooming and shaving tips.  Most, like AlphaM. Image Consulting or posts from the Grooming Lounge guys, are quasi-professional or professionally made.  That doesn’t mean the videos aren’t helpful, it just means they’re trying to sell you something.

When it comes to foundations, the cosmetics companies want us to move on from finger painting.

There are a bevy of new anti-aging foundations hitting the shelves, but most interesting to us is that they also come with new applicators.  Maybe they think we’re just no good at smoothing an even layer of foundation across our  faces.  Maybe it’s just one more gimmick they’re trying to use to convince us that their product will better fill the creases and give us younger-looking, glowing skin.

Either way, these applicators are giving whole new meaning to “paint your face.”

The two that stand out the most are Maybelline’s Instant Age Rewind Eraser Treatment Makeup, and L’Oreal’s True Match Roller.

Maybelline says its Eraser combines a breakthrough formula with a “patented Micro-Corrector Applicator.”  After squeezing some of the foundation into the spongy tip of the bottle, you brush it across your face and the foundation “micro-fills and smoothes imperfections on the skin’s surface.”  The applicator looks a lot like a bingo blotter, so we can only hope it goes on a little more consistently than the magenta marker we were using at Immaculate Conception Hall last week. Reviewers at Makeup Alley – the majority of whom appeared to be 45 and older – rated it 3.8 out of 5, but many said the applicator takes a lot of getting used to.

The Roller part of L’Oreal’s True Match line looks like a teeny tiny version of the tool you use to paint the walls.  The website says the “revolutionary roll on applicator creates the ultimate airbrushed finish … (and) the flexible applicator adapts to all the curves of your face for even coverage.”

Not everyone wants you to toss the brushes yet, however. Revlon’s Age Defying Spa Face Illuminator foundation, Neutrogena’s Mineral Sheers Liquid Makeup and Yves Saint Laurent Perfect Touch Radiant Brush Foundation all have incorporated the brush into the packaging. You turn the tip to get the “perfect” amount and paint it on for a “flawless” finish.

At first, we thought Sally Hansen was showing us something new with its Airbrush Spray Makeup, but unlike the highly rated spray-on tanning products we mentioned recently, the directions tell you to spray the foundation onto your hands.  So we’re back to finger painting, I guess.

However you prefer to paint your face, there’s now a product out there for you.  Just tie on a drop cloth first.

At first blush, you might mistake rosacea (roe-ZAY-shuh) for a rosy glow or maybe an odd sunburn.  It’s a red splotch or patch of pimples you think is going to go away, but keeps coming back.

If that’s not vague enough for you, rosacea, which affects an estimated 14 million Americans, can come and go, it’s not clear what causes it and there’s no cure. Oh yeah, skin tone and skin type don’t matter either, although it is most obvious among the fair-skinned.

The National Rosacea Society (NSR) lists the warning signs as: Redness on the cheeks, nose, chin or forehead; small visible blood vessels on the face; bumps or pimples on the face; or watery or irritated eyes.  (For good measure, the American Academy of Dermatology says it can also occur on the ears, chest and back).

To us, that sounds like the side effects of a girls’ night out or the start of allergy season.  However, if those symptoms show up regularly or seem to be caused by exercise, stress, too much sun or wind, temperature swings, spicy foods or drinking,  you might consider talking to a dermatologist or your physician to see if it might be rosacea.

Left untreated, it can become increasingly severe, turning into bumps, spreading to larger areas and even causing the skin to thicken, according to WebMD.com.  It can also cause burning and soreness in the eyelids.

As the number of rosacea sufferers grow, more products are being introduced to address the problem.  Every source that has anything to say about rosacea stresses using sunscreen.  Look for products that are specifically made to reduce redness and even skin tone, like Estee Lauder’s Verite Moisture Relief Cream (1.7 fl oz/ $50); Clinique’s Redness Solutions line (&17.50-$39.50); Bare Escentuals RareMinerals Skin Revival Treatment (.15 oz / $60); or MD Skincare’s Hydra-Pure Redness Soothing Serum ($42.50).

Keep in mind that key ingredients to avoid include astringents (i.e. alcohol, witch hazel) and fragrance.

Other treatments for rosacea are antibiotic creams or pills; Accutane or Retin-A, and in the most severe cases, dermabrasion, cryosurgery (freezing bad skin cells with liquid nitrogen) or laser surgery.

Most people affected are between the ages of 30-50, both male and female, but it can also affect children.  Of course, that makes rosacea just one more thing to worry about as we age, especially without well-defined symptoms.  However, if you find yourself a little too red in the face a little too often, maybe it’s time to talk to a dermatologist.

April is National Rosacea Awareness month.

Your feet are ready for sandals. Your legs are ready for shorts.  Your arms are ready for tanktops (more or less).  And your neck is ready for … Thanksgiving?  Face it, that turtleneck is going to have to come off sometime, whether you’re ready to show the world your turkey neck or not.

All year long we pay attention to the skin on our faces and the skin on our bodies, religiously exfoliating, moisturizing and SPF’ing to keep it soft, supple and glowing.  If you managed to take care of your neck like that as well, you’re ahead of the curve.

Most of us, however, take care of our faces from the chin up and our bodies from the shoulders down, allowing the neck to fend for itself.  You may not have that dangling little turkey wattle hanging there yet, but the skin of the neck and chest area has fewer oil glands than other parts of the body, meaning the skin is thinner and dehydration and environmental stresses can leave it feeling papery and looking less than smooth.

More products are hitting the market these days specifically targeting the neck and décolletage, aiming (and claiming) to smooth, hydrate, tighten and otherwise save your neck.

• Olay’s Definity Neck & Chest Daily Restoration Treatment (1.7 fluid ounces/$29.99) touts a dual-action hydrating formula and “tone-correcting clear gel complex” to even skin tone and diminish the appearance of sun spots and discolorations on the neck and chest.
  • Paula Beguon’s Beautypedia.com gives it an “okay” rating

• L’Oreal offers the Dermo-Expertise Collagen Remodeler Contouring Moisturizer for Face and Neck, Night (1.7 fl. oz./$19.99), which it says was “inspired by dermatologist’s most precise facial contouring procedures” and containing a “Collagen Bio-Activator,” to help boost collagen and fill out the face and neck while you sleep.  L’Oreal’s Revitalift line also offers a face and neck daytime moisturizer.
  • Seven users on Totalbeauty.com gave it an 8.4 rating out of ten.
• StriVectin® Neck Cream (1.4 fl oz/$90) claims to “dramatically reduce the appearance of “turkey neck”. . . .lifting, shaping and refining as it produces a smoother, younger-looking contour.”  Key ingredients are yeast extract that has skin-smoothing properties, peptides and soy and rye extracts.
  • Paula Beguon doesn’t have much good to say about any StriVectin products and totalbeauty.com users gave it a 7.4 out of ten.
• DHC offers three neck-specific products, including a Q10 Neck Cream (.88 fl. oz. /$24) that contains the coenzyme Q10, fortifying vitamins E and A, and alpha-arbutin to brighten the skin. It claims the “antioxidant-rich cream helps visibly tighten, hydrate and minimize the appearance of discoloration for a more resilient-looking neck.”  DHC also offers Neck Essence Peptides and gel-based Moisture Strips that infuse antioxidants directly into the skin to which they’re applied.
  • Cosmetics guru Beguon says the DHC neck product is the same as their eye product, but she really likes the eye cream…
• Cosmeceutical king Scott-Vincent Borba offers the Firming Neck and Decollete Cream (1.7 fl. oz./$40) containing the antioxidant-heavy ingredients Guanabana, Acai, pomegranate, green tea and soy extracts. According to the Website, the “rich cream literally surrounds delicate neck and décolleté skin with nutrient-infused antioxidants and Hydrolyzed Spandex Fibers, allowing the active ingredients to deeply penetrate and significantly improve skin’s deepest epidermal layers for a younger looking, firmer appearance.”
  • Beguons’ Beautypedia thinks this product is overrated, but gives it an okay rating.

Sunscreen is the only thing you can do to protect that tender skin, but you do have a few choices if you’re willing (and ready) to stick your neck out.

Frownies

What first caught our eye is the Frownies Immune Perfect Wrinkle Cream (29.5 ml tube, $59), a moisturizer that claims its “antioxidant/anti-wrinkle delivery system is a cosmetics industry first.”  Cosmetics companies comparing “firsts” is like men comparing “size.”  The product however, is chock full of antioxidants, amino acids and vitamin E, which is always good for the skin.  And the “active delivery system” of the vitamin E means the gel-cream moisturizer will keep your skin hydrated all day.

As we started looking more closely at the wrinkle cream, though, we found the whole Frownies product line, including the NEW all natural Under Eye Treatment Patch (3 sets of 2 on sale for $30; regularly $37.50) that targets wrinkles, dark circles and loss of collagen in that area where the skin gets thin and papery all too soon.

The under-eye patch isn’t the duct-tape wannabe of the other facial Frownies.  These patches, according to the website, are a clear jell made from cactus collagen.  You stick it on your face for 30 minutes or less and as it dissolves, the collagen is transferred to the skin.  Depending on how severe your dark circles are, Frownies claims you could see immediate improvement that could last up to a week.

But Frownies didn’t stop with the moisturizer and collagen cactus compote. There’s a pH Balancing Complexion Wash; a Hydrator Spray that doubles as toner and pad adhesive activator; and Immune Serum, which targets dry skin and lip lines.

None of those come cheap, and obviously, Frownies is stretching its potential market beyond those who browse the Vermont Country Store catalog in their housecoats.  The products are all available online and some are available at Whole Foods Markets and other select retailers.  A store locator is available on the website if you don’t want to order online.

We don’t know if Frownies is “The leader in skin rejuvenation,” as it claims, but fun and interesting always get our attention.