It seems like LookinGood is always talking about breasts, and frankly, we are.  There is just so damned much to talk about.  The country is obsessed with them – enhancement, reduction, reshaping – and that’s just for the guys.  Aside from surgical options, women have thousands of brassiere contraptions that increase cleavage, flatten us when we work out, smooth them under sweaters, double their size in a bathing suit.  But we stumbled across a little product that relies on deceptive makeup to change our bosom size.

It Cosmetics offers My Beautiful Breast Kit ($69 online, with free shipping) for those who “want the appearance of an instant breast lift, the illusion of larger or smaller breasts or simple body shading for enhanced sexy cleavage,” according to the website.

The kit includes the “coveted” Library of Secrets Manual with step-by-step instructions; waterproof and sweat-proof bust shadows and highlighters; ‘My Firm Beautiful Breasts’ primer; setting spray; semi-permanent bust stain; mini buffing brush and a dual-sided contouring and highlighting brush. Whew.

Now, I know this kit is not for me simply because I can’t apply eye shadow effectively.  Trying to paint on fuller breasts without a pattern to trace (like with those pumpkin-carving kits) has trouble written all over it. I’d probably end up with the Maxine effect, looking more like a 36 long rather than a 36 D.

Pamela Anderson and Krista Allen

But It Cosmetics inventor Jamie Kern Lima used to be the makeup artist for Bay Watch, so she knows her boobs.  Hey, you remember Bay Watch – Pamela Anderson and Krista Allen (not to mention a sober David Hasselhoff) – she must know what she’s talking about.  If you can master her technique, a do-it-yourself bust kit might be the answer.

The bust stain stays on your skin for 3-5 days “… for the look of ultimate cleavage that lasts all day on the beach, all night out on the town and for your entire weekend getaway,” according to the product information. It says “No matter how wet or sweaty you get – your breasts aren’t going anywhere”!  Ingredients aren’t listed anywhere, so for all we know, it might be latex paint.

The art of illusion works well in the movies, but if you decide to try the kit, we suggest you make sure your partner doesn’t wear his glasses all the time, and keep the paint thinner handy.