Have you ever been flipping through Playboy, when a model in a sultry pose catches your eye and you think, “Wow, I really love her lip gloss!”?

Well, just in case, Playboy has a makeup line that will let women channel their inner bunny.  Apparently trying to expand its brand to offset slumping magazine sales, thanks mostly to free internet porn, Playboy Beauty wants to capitalize on the idea that women everywhere secretly desire to replicate the images of the “historic” … “icons” that grace the pages of Hugh Hefner’s magazine and romp at his mansion.  Classics like Marilyn Monroe or Anna Nicole Smith, for instance.

And what could make you look and feel more like a centerfold than “Playmate of the Year” body powder; “Are Those Real” eyeliner; “Tie Me To The Bed Post” blush; “On The Prowl” eye shadow; and Hef’s Favorite Lip Gloss in “Sex Kitten.” That’s just to name a few.

The Mood Lip Gloss is interesting too. It comes in two shades — “In the Mood” and “Not In the Mood” – and is supposed to react to the pH in your lips to create your own unique shade of pink. You’d think “Not In The Mood” would make your lips blue or black to warn prospective bunny ranchers away. The product description also says the lip gloss is mood-enhancing, but doesn’t say how. Or for whom.

Looking at all these perky pinkish products with little bunnies on the packaging, we couldn’t help but wonder who the Hef would buy this stuff? Men? “Happy Birthday, honey, here’s some ‘Banshee’ eye shadow and ‘Cabana Boy’ blush from Playboy.”

The website, however, tells us that “The Playboy Beauty consumer embraces every dimension of her personality … She watches MTV and VH1 and reads InStyle and UsWeekly.’’ We’re happy to know this consumer can read. It also says the Playboy Beauty consumer is “aspirational, blending sex appeal with ‘street’ sensibility.”  Does that mean you have to be a sex kitten to wear their stuff?

Whatever the case and whomever the consumer, we all know it’s going to take more than shimmery body powder to make us feel like a centerfold.  Ah, but what the hell.  Someone call Santa.