It was a tiny piece in the The New York Times that caught my eye.  “Crime isn’t pretty” the headline read, and referenced an unreleased report from a couple economists who concluded that criminals tend to be, well, ugly.  Or at least uglier than the general public.

It’s a classic research study by gentlemen from the University of Colorado and Georgia State University.   Forty-four pages of data and analysis, controlled variable components, referenced assumptions, probability models and equations like:

“The individual engages in crime if (1-p)U(Wcr)+pU(Wa) > U(Wl), where Wl represents earnings in the legal sector, which are determined as follows: Wl = γB+βX, ”

…all the stuff I’ve never been able to read.  The conclusion, however, was simple: “We find that unattractive individuals commit more crime in comparison to average-looking ones, and beautiful individuals commit less crime in comparison to those who are average-looking.”

It all begins (doesn’t everything?) in high school.   Unattractiveness during those years hinders what is referred to as human capital – our ability to develop personal attributes that help us in the job market after graduation.  So therefore, beautiful people do better and earn more.  Those of us less favored in the looks department are left with fewer opportunities, so are more likely to turn to crime.

According to the study, beautiful people could conceivably commit better crimes, too, because they are more trusted and their good looks keep others from being apprehensive or afraid of them in encounters.

But what about those who do thumb their noses at the law?  Particularly the gals?  “In case of females, beauty has a statistically significant impact on all crimes but theft and burglary.  Being a very attractive female reduces the propensity to damage property by 1.1 percentage points, to commit non-drug crime (burglary, theft, robbery, assault, or property damage) by 2.5 percentage points, and the propensity to assault somebody by 2 percentage points in comparison to being of average attractiveness in the most comprehensive model …”

You may extrapolate that we gals like sex, drugs and something akin to rock n’ roll.

One last kernal from the study that has been known for years:  “It is interesting to note that there is research to indicate that criminals who have their physical appearance enhanced surgically are less likely to return to prison (Lewison 1974).”  Guess Mickey Rourke never got the memo.

For the full study, download the pdf here.